xxHardly Called Love
by Vital.latiV
Summary: Entering a new village, the group needs supplies, Goku needs to eat, and Gojyo needs to cool his hormones. Who knew it would be a cross-dresser, who would do the job?
1. xxConfusion

xxxx

Summary –

The Sanzo party is on their usual move. Journey to the West, fighting demons, and all that good stuff. Well, like almost every other episode, they have to run into a village, stock up on cigarettes, feed Goku's stomach, and Gojyo's gotta find him some lovin' for a night. Lucky for them, they stumble on a guy who's getting beaten up, and think of saving him. He treats them to food, and let's them stay at his inn. It's late, but Gojyo's still need some lovin'. So he asks the fellow where he can find a place… Who knew the kid didn't roll for chicks?

Warnings – 

There will be cussin' (What can I say? It's the Sanzo party…), Third POV, and some wacky amusement.

Author's Note –

The setting is in the middle of it all. Not after the ending, and not before the beginning of the real story line. Think of it as a major episode going in right smack-dab in the middle! Don't quite know where it's going to continue from but hey, that's what surprises are for right? Plus, wouldn't want to spoil anything for people. Kill me about the summary later. It's for my own amusement. :3

So, where was I going with this note again? Oh right, to the story!

PS: First story! And the rightful owner is Kazuya Minekura. You just gotta love her work on Saiyuki. Now, onto the story! (Again…)

* * *

xx**.One.**xx

xx**.Confusion.**xx

||_All who have claimed to know reality,_

_Has yet to meet a thing called ingenuity._||

-

xxxx

_Demons. _They're like the monsters that you hear when you're little. _Be weary of the monsters in your closet…or they'll get you in your sleep. _It's a melancholic thing that Hikaru never believed in monsters…

'_Demons were once human. What's the exact difference between them? Asides that demons were more powerful, and that humans are more-_'

"OI! Waiter! Where the hell's our drinks?!"

'_…and that humans are more of assholes._'

"Yeah, yeah, don't get your panties all in a bunch." The stoic Hikaru growled, after a sigh escaped his thin lips. He slammed the glass onto the wooden table, giving the table a mere shake and the customers a slight flinch. The table was weak as it was, so it was surprising that the pressure didn't make the table collapse inward. "Happy now?"

"Tch, don't think you'll get any better of a tip with that crappy attitude." The man growled, glaring at Hikaru. But, the young adult gladly returned the glare with a smirk.

"And I doubt you'd get anything at all with that shitty attitude of yours." The man ticked, and immediately grabbed the collar of Hikaru's shirt. "Ugh, what you do need though is a breath mint, my god man…" Hikaru scoffed as the man easily threw the 18-years old to the side.

'_Everyone's just a critic…_'

xxxx

"C'mon Sanzo!! I'm starving! Can't we stop to get a bite or something?" Goku whined, clutching his stomach as he fell back into the back seat once more. It was a difficult task, but Sanzo managed to block Goku's voice out for the moment.

"Wow Sanzo, you're getting the hang of ignoring Goku, huh?" The driver, Hakkai, asked as his hands rested on the steering wheel of the 'dragon-jeep'.

"Sorry, who?" The priest asked, with a minimized sign of sarcasm on his tongue.

"Aha…Never mind."

"Seriously man, I have to agree with the monkey on this one. I do need to stock up on my smokes…" Gojyo pointed out with a nonchalant look on his face.

"Stop calling me a monkey, will ya!?"

"Look. We're not stopping anymore. We've been stopping for the past few weeks, and 2 months have already passed since we left Chang'an!! So just shut up, and get over it!" Sanzo finally snapped, leaving the two in the back to fall silent.

It was only one minute later when-

"Sanzo! I'm hungry!!"

"All right! That's it! I've had enough of your whiny-ass mouth!! Get over here so I can shoot you, you little monke-"

"Hey guys, mind being a little quieter? A village is coming up…" Hakkai muttered with a small smile before laughing quietly as the quarrel continued on.

xxxx

"Man, you call that a punch?" A scoff came from Hikaru as men began to jump him. They paid no mercy as punch after punch came to the fellow. It almost seemed like Hikaru hardly cared. Taunt after taunt he made, and punch after punch they returned.

His white shirt was becoming stained with his blood and dirt. His cargo pants were beginning to carry more dirt than his shirt in a matter of seconds. With a pretty pair of cerulean eyes, he winced as they punched his cheek continuously.

Hikaru knelt and spat blood as the men merely stood panting with smirks. "Hadn't had a good punching bag like that for a while…" They laughed as Hikaru merely wiped a drop of blood from his lips. He breathed heavily as his blood was clotting his throat. One of the men before him swiped at Hikaru's long ponytail and let his foot fall onto his back.

"What're you a pansy?!" The man yelled as he pulled onto Hikaru's black hair harder. "Only pansies got nice hair like you."

As he yanked at his hair, his foot applied more pressure onto Hikaru's back.

"You got somethin' against long hair?" The sound of metal clanged through the air as the man soon let go of Hikaru's hair. He clutched at his bleeding wrist as he stared at a group of four men just a few feet from them. The one that sounded had long crimson hair, and eyes that matched the color. He held a metal staff with a connected chain and small crescent moon scythe. It was a unique weapon that was for sure.

"Yeah? And what of it, pansy? Your hair ain't any better than his, its pink!" The group of men laughed, and the leader kicked Hikaru in the gut.

"I don't like it when people make fun of my hair…" The man muttered, crushing his last pack of cigarettes.

"You wouldn't really like Gojyo when he's annoyed…"

"Though they do make a point…after all, Gojyo is a sissy kappa!"

"You wanna go, monkey?"

…

"…Who the hell?" A more or less conscious Hikaru came through as weary eyes looked up to see a group of four; two of them so happen to be arguing at the moment. The men stood staring at the predicament that wasn't even theirs. But sooner or later they got annoyed of being ignored.

"Hey! Shut up! Who do you think you guys are anyways?" One of the men yelled, and that immediately got the strange party's attention.

"Look man, I hardly have to save a guy in distress…know any damsels that need help?" The one proclaimed Gojyo asked with a charming grin.

"You guys better think more on saving yourselves! RAAGH!" They leapt. Four against four. It seemed pretty fair. But that concept didn't seem to count towards Gojyo. 4 against 1 were more of his odds.

'_The idiot won't last a minute against them…but then again, why the hell are his friends just loungin' around like it's a show?_' Hikaru wondered as blue eyes watched the fighting scene unfold.

"Hey…are you all right?" A man with a monocle, or at least a broken pair of glasses, asked calmly with a smile. Hikaru blinked before a faint tint of pink touched his cheeks.

"Yeah…I think…" Hikaru muttered, wiping yet another trail of blood on the corners of his lips with the back of his hand. The man next to him blinked for a moment.

xx***G***xx

"Tch, they didn't even make me break a sweat…" Gojyo scoffed as he rested his metal staff behind his neck. The four bodies lay sprawled on the floor, unconscious. Hikaru blinked at this, and stared at them.

'_Who the hell are these people anyways…?_'

"They didn't cause much trouble to you, did they?" The man with a monocle asked with a tilt of his head. Hikaru struggled to sit up, but shook his head in the progress.

"Nah…I wanted them to beat me to a pulp actually." The pre-adult muttered clutching his arm tightly.

"Why the hell did you do that for!?" A sudden force jumped on Hikaru making him fall back. He blinked momentarily as a small kid with a golden headband seemed to be on his stomach. He wasn't dumb enough to not recognize the headband to be a power limiter, for a _demon_. He stared up at the kid, before averting his eyes to a different direction. It was probably safe to not piss the group off.

"I dunno…It's not like I have anything to hold onto anyways."

"So what? You'd rather die than hold onto the life you have already!? You wanna give up that easy!?" The boy's words made Hikaru grow wide-eyed. It ticked something in his brain and he clenched his teeth.

"Who the hell said I was giving up!?" Hikaru immediately yelled, the 'monkey' falling off of him in surprise. "I ain't givin' up, and I sure as hell ain't gonna listen to a bunch of dumbasses that-"

A sound of low grumbling erupted.

'_What the hell was that?_' Hikaru wondered as he blinked rapidly. But the possible thought of it being a monster or other demon washed away as the kid began to pout.

"…Sanzo I'm hungry!!"

"Well that sure killed the mood…" Gojyo rolled his eyes, before glancing sharply towards Hikaru. He was a strange one, he figured.

Asides from the way the guy thought, the way Hikaru looked was pretty strange. He was lean and very thin looking, with lightly pale skin. He had long black hair that reached to his lower butt, or at least it was an estimate since he was still sitting up. And with a bright color of blue for his eyes, it all didn't seem to match up for him.

"Look, we saved you from those brutes. Gonna pay us back the favor." The one dressed in priest attire ordered, more than questioned. Hikaru gritted his teeth before scoffing quietly.

"Whatever…Just get inside…" He was defeated, and he sure wasn't going to go against that sort of logic…

"WOW! This food looks great!" The small boy exclaimed staring at the whole banquet fit for 10 kings. It was a table filled with breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. There were soups, chicken dishes, noodles, salads, trout, pork, and almost every other food dish the party could ask for. "Did you make this on your own?" The kid exclaimed staring up at Hikaru nearly starry eyed. He was busy trying to bandage his arm with a piece of cloth in his mouth to tighten the knot.

"Yep. Not like there's anyone else to help me." He shrugged, as he stared at the group. "Want some beer? Sake?"

"Both please." The man in green smiled as the monkey began to dig into his food – almost literally.

"Sure thing."

In mid-eating, the small boy blinked.

xx***I***xx

"That was some real good cooking, almost as better as Hakkai's." Gojyo concluded as he pulled out another cigarette. "No offence, pal."

"None taken! I must admit this as well." Hakkai grinned. "I'm surprised you could cook through the pain though…"

"What of it? No pain, no gain." Hikaru shrugged sitting in a chair, calmly staring at the group. "I may not be much of a healer, but I can at least hold off the pain for a while." He explained resting his chin on his folded arms against the backwards chair he was sitting on. "Looks like your pet's asleep…" He noted, pointing towards the sleeping child in his chair. He smiled slightly, before diverting his eyes towards the priest. "So, this is the Priest Sanzo and his party…I thought the rumors were false." He murmured staring at them with his cerulean eyes.

"Sorry, you got the wrong guys." The blonde-haired man added swiftly; the growl trying to be sustained in his tone.

"Ah, don't worry about it. Not many people here in town are religious. For all they know, you're just an uptight guy wearing fancy clothes." Hikaru grinned, as he pulled out a lollipop and bit down on the stick. He only laughed with the group as he received glares from the priest himself. "Look, the sun's setting and I doubt you can find a vacant inn around here. Lucky for you guys that you stumbled on a restaurant and an inn."

"Yeah, lucky us." Sanzo growled, not forgiving easily of Hikaru's comment. The black-haired fellow noted this and only chuckled.

xx***R***xx

"Hardly anyone knows that this is an inn, so I pretty much can call it my home." Hikaru explained, as he guided the group up the stairs, to the second floor. "You got four rooms for four guys, unless you guys share. Take your pick." He shrugged, as he fiddled with the lollipop stick between his teeth. He sharply glanced to his shoulder as he felt an arm around him.

"Hey man, you know the village more than us, know a place where I can find some chicks?" The red-haired Gojyo asked with a grin. Hikaru glared at him, and swatted his arm away.

"Tch, no." With that hissed, he headed down the hall and towards his room. The group only stared blankly, except for Gojyo who only blinked in confusion.

"The hell's his problem? Guess he doesn't roll for chicks…"

"Hey, we should probably still be grateful for…his hospitality, so maybe you should go apologize. It seems you pissed him off a bit." Hakkai stated curtly, with a small smile.

"What the hell did I do? I just asked him if he knew some chicks, is all." Gojyo retorted wearing a slight pout. But it immediately went away once Sanzo's fan made impact with his head. "What the hell was that for, you damn monk!?"

"For being an idiot. It's a simple task to go apologize, now do it. I'm not gonna risk getting kicked out because you can't chill your hormones." Sanzo glared, before tucking his paper fan away. If that wasn't going to get through the Gojyo's head, his gun sure would help him.

"Sheesh, fine. You guys are all acting like tight-asses I swear…" He muttered, before heading towards Hikaru's door. He knocked on the wood once, but was given no reply. Knocking on it once more and still given no reply was starting to tick him. A sigh escaped his lips as he grumbled, "And here I came to give my sincerest apolo-" As he opened the door, he fluttered his eyes to see their host in cargo pants, a black tank top, and having...a chest.

"…You-But-Guy-T-turn-W-w-woman?" He stumbled on his words, as his eyes met with Hikaru's own. They were blank, and placid, as they stared in return. But with a mere blink, it changed it all.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, BARGING INTO MY ROOM YOU IDIOT!?" The now-pronounced-_she _yelled on the top of _her_ lungs. She began to throw the things in her room towards the man that disrupted her changing clothes.

"Hey-" There went the vase, "-I only-", the pillow, "-came to-" the chair, "-apolo-", and finally, a book made contact with his head.

xx***L***xx

Hikaru slammed the door, leaving the aching Gojyo on the floor. He groaned as he rubbed his bruising forehead, and winced up to see the guys around him.

"You really should've asked to go in, before just barging into her room like that." A smiling Hakkai pointed out with a small laugh.

"Yeah, you're pretty lucky she didn't do more damage…" Snickered the little monkey, Goku, who found Gojyo's predicament rather amusing. Unfortunately for him, he didn't.

"How the hell did you guys know, and I didn't!? Why didn't I get the memo?" He asked with much aggravation in his voice. After all, why did the ladies' man not figure this out? Why, even the _monkey_ knew about this!

"She blushed when I asked her if 'he' was alright. I doubt that's a common trait among men." Hakkai noted, wearing a grin on his face.

"And you, Monkey?"

"She makes great food! Not any guy would be able to make that much food, and have the great taste! Mmm, now I want some more…" Goku sighed nearly dazedly, as he patted his stomach gratefully. Gojyo's only chance was for the monk to not know about this. He switched his gaze to the priest, who was resting his back against a wall, staring at the group placidly.

"Please tell me you didn't know about this too…"

"Don't mistake me for a dumbass, Dumbass." He sighed, before making his way towards his own room. "Now, if you're all done playing 'Detective', I'm going to sleep."

"Same here, Hakuryu's pretty tired himself."

"Aw, I guess I'll wait till morning for breakfast…"

…

……

"Just wait a god damn second! You all knew except for me!?" The 3 stood at their doors, to stare at the dumbfounded Gojyo. His expression was priceless as he still sat up on the floor with a red mark on his forehead.

"Yep. Good night!"

xx***.G.I.R.L.***xx

xx**.One = Over.**xx

* * *

Author's Note –

Well? How'd you like that? The summary makes some sense now, huh? I do hope you guys liked that! I'm just getting used to this! Thanks for reading!


	2. xxWeird

* * *

xxxx

Summary –

The Sanzo party is on their usual move. Journey to the West, fighting demons, and all that good stuff. Well, like almost every other episode, they have to run into a village, stock up on cigarettes, feed Goku's stomach, and Gojyo's gotta find him some lovin' for a night. Lucky for them, they stumble on a guy who's getting beaten up, and think of saving him. He treats them to food, and let's them stay at his inn. It's late, but Gojyo's still need some lovin'. So he asks the fellow where he can find a place… Who knew the kid didn't roll for chicks?

Warnings – 

There will be cussin' (What can I say? It's the Sanzo party…), Third POV, and some wacky amusement.

Author's Note –

I do hope you liked the first one, because here's the second one! Now I am highly glad I don't have to continue to call our main OC a boy, whew! And sorry for the wait!! :D;; This chapter will incite more of Gojyo's view. Enjoy!

* * *

xx**.Two.**xx

xx**.****Weird****.**xx

xxxx

That night – with the shocking truth of the Sanzo party's current host – did not make sleep any easier for the late-minded Gojyo. He was sleeping in a soft bed, with warm blankets, a fluffy pillow, his stomach filled to its content, and the room actually warm; why did the sleep not come to him? It was far better than trying to curl in the back of the jeep with the monkey and his distorted sleeping habits. So _why_ couldn't he get any sleep? Perhaps it was the after-pain that still clouded his head, or the guilt that had built up in his stomach. Whatever it was, he knew the next morning would just be hellish…

xxxx

The voice was soft, yet gruff at the same time. Though they were words that Gojyo didn't think he would hear in the next morning. "Breakfast is ready…"

He stared at the table filled with yet another three-course meal fit for 10 kings. Of course, Goku was more than satisfied and dashed towards the table almost immediately. Hakkai and Sanzo followed after, keeping their usual calm stature about everything. It nearly seemed like the night before was only a dream. '_Who knows, maybe it was…_' He hoped, as he was the last to sit at the table amongst the group. He seated himself next to Goku, and watched as everyone already began to dig in, except for Hikaru.

The crimson-haired man took a glance towards him – or rather _her_ – for only a second. She was wearing a black T-shirt, and baggy pants to match the color. Yet again, she still had the stature of a male. It felt nearly awkward to be in her presence. But she hardly took a glance at him, he knew. It was instinct when he felt a lady's eyes on him – or any eyes for that matter. He hesitantly reached his hand out for a roll, but that was when he froze. She was staring at him. He mentally cringed, doing his best not to look pathetic in front of everyone. He already did last night. How feeble of him…

"Eh, you know what? I'm not even hungry." He laughed half-heartedly as he drew back his hand. The other half of his heart was in the pits of his stomach. "You sure? You don't look so good, Gojyo… You okay?" Hakkai asked staring at his friend. Comfort was what Gojyo needed at the moment. But comfort stopped in mid-air as he still felt Hikaru's eyes on him.

"Why wouldn't I be okay? Ah, don't worry about me. Just go on and eat," he encouraged. He tapped his fingers against his uneasy leg, as he watched his friends eat, occasionally giving glances at him. '_Finally…_' He thought to himself once he felt the girl's eyes off of him. He glanced at her for a quick moment – still not eating, and sitting in a backwards chair – but soon, finally noticed what was between her teeth. "Why do you have a knitting needle in your mouth?" He asked, slowly hoping as to not offend the girl – again. She wore a bored expression, but her piercing eyes looked at Gojyo. He did his best not to flinch. She continued to play with the aluminum stick between her teeth.

"I hate knitting…" She stated simply, closing her vivid blue eyes with a shrug. With that short answer, Gojyo merely nodded once. He figured he wouldn't go on any further with the subject; else the needle would be flown through the air – by an unknown '_force_'.

"Hey, Hikaru? Why do you dress like a guy?" The straight-forward question immediately came from the innocent Goku. It was a query that was itching in everyone's mind – thankfully it was the thick-headed monkey to ask. All eyes turned towards Hikaru, as she calmly stared back. She placed the needle between her fingers like a cigarette, and tilted her head.

"Well, it's comfortable for one. I really can't stand dresses or kimonos. And plus, I wouldn't have to be harassed by men…" Her voice carried, while her eyes flashed to Gojyo. It was clear that her last sentence was aimed to him. He flushed out of a mixed emotion; the girl was depriving him of food, just because he asked where to find some babes. Not only that, but it didn't seem like she was going to be forgiving at any time soon. And sure, she gives the monkey a full-on answer, while she gives him jack.

He inhaled a deep amount of breath trying to calm both his nerves and his will to shout. No matter what, the cross dresser _was_ a chick…

xxxx

Breakfast dragged on after a strange yet calming silence, and only Goku's eating could be heard. Sanzo probably enjoyed himself considering the whole 'wanting-to-shoot-us-to-shut-us-up' ordeal. Now it was time to shop for supplies. Goku wanted to go look for some snacks, Hakkai for some grocery supplies, Sanzo for some cigarettes, and Gojyo… wanted some cigarettes as well. He wasn't able to do much, considering their host decided to follow them as well.

"Any reason why you wanted to come along, Miss Hikaru?" Hakkai asked ever-so-politely.

"I don't really have much to do at the time; my restaurant doesn't open till 3, and I think I need to buy some cooking supplies while I'm at it." She explained in her casual nonchalant way. This girl's personality was truly and slowly bugging him, like a parasite slowly eating him up. "Plus, y'all need a guide anyways. With the cretins in this place, you'll need some direction." She added with a sigh. Gojyo was able to recognize that this comment was towards him, and he inwardly danced for joy. Perhaps he was slowly beginning to grow on her. "Would you like me to direct ya to the town's whores?" A strange chipper tone with a hidden bitterness played on her words. Gojyo's shoulders slumped slightly, as the left side of his face twitched.

"Look, missy, I not that perverted y'know." He finally hissed, giving up on ignoring the shadowed sly remarks aimed at him. He only twitched once more as she scoffed, her long ponytail flicking like a horse's tail.

"Oh, of course, but you're enough of a pervert to barge into innocent women's rooms?"

"How the hell was I suppose to know you were a woman?" He growled, glaring down at the woman who was at least a foot shorter than him. Though for someone so short, he was slightly taken aback as she managed to flick him on the forehead. He replayed the process of her success; kick to the shin, palm upward against his forehead, and ending with a hard flick on the same spot. He rubbed the sore spot fiercely. He learned by now never to underestimate this one.

"You must be the drawback for the group." She muttered coldly, her vivid blue eyes sharing the same tone. He slowly gripped his hand and unclenched it. He wished he didn't stop those guys that created the bruise on her cheek, and arm. An audible sigh escaped his lips as he noticed how cruel his thought seemed. No matter how much of a-

"Ya gotta be kidding me." He heard her mutter hoarsely, and blinked. She was looking around them, and he followed her gaze. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except for the fact that they were the only ones walking of their group.

"Those bastards ditched us…" He grumbled to himself. Naturally it was nice to be alone, but with _her_, it was impossible. The two moved on, occasionally giving glances to each other. Conversation was inevitable through the tension. But, Gojyo would try his attempts at it.

"How long have you stayed in this town?"

"Enough…"

…

"Got any friends?"

"Nope. None."

…

"Have a family? Kids, boyfriend, sister?"

"Why? So you could bang a sister I don't even have?"

…

A loud groan came from Gojyo's lips as he decided to stop with the questions. He let his hand run down through his hair, and felt Hikaru's eyes on him through his actions. "Stop staring at me, will ya?" His tone dragged of tiredness. He watched as the girl merely blinked, and turned around. Her hair nearly slapping Gojyo in the side.

"Here's a question, for you. Why all the life story questions?" She asked, her hands stuffed in her pockets as she walked. Gojyo figured the question would come up sooner or later, and shrugged.

"I wanna at least know the annoying host that's taking care of us." He retorted, scratching the edge of his ear. His eyelids fluttered as he heard a soft sound; a sound of amusement. Laughter. "Will you look at that, you actually know how to laugh." He joked, wearing a grin on his face. He noted Hikaru sharply glancing up at him, and shook her head.

"I only remembered something funny is all…"

"Oh? And what is that?" He inquired, hoping to see the girl flustered. To see that sort of expression on her face would be payment for making him not eat. As well as for all the emotional abuse he had went through all morning. "Well?" He pressed on.

"Your face."

"…"

xx**.Two = Over.**xx

* * *

A/N –

…Nn, I don't really like this chapter. :\ I'll make the third more interesting. Thanks for reading!


End file.
